Thursday, January 18, 2007

Massive Winter Storm Cripples Country

Winter storm causes over 100,000 to go without electricity. Over a billion dollars lost to California's citrus crop. Swartzeneggar asks feds for disaster relief help. Oh, the humanity!

Sung to the tune of "Tonight," from West Side Story:

Tonight, tonight, won't be just any night,
Tonight there will be snow and freezing raaaain,
Tonight, tonight, won't be just any night,
And I won't have to deal with kids that are a PAAAAAIN!!!!

Unless you live in Cherokee County, Georgia. Thats because the storm fizzled out just before it got here. Please choose your reason for this occuring from the following list:

A. Students not praying hard enough.
B. Teachers not praying hard enough.
C. Divine judgement on teachers and students alike.
D. Superintendent in league with the devil.
E. Global warming over Cherokee County (it's George Bush's fault).
F. UFO's cause warming trend due to this teacher's attempt to oust them.
G. Scientology mind control moving north of Clearwater, Florida.
H. Chiropracters leave "muscle warming" units on at Life College to bill customers extra.
I. Neal Boortz talking too much, causes hot air mass over the region.
J. Jack Baur visiting Atlanta, terrorists follow blowing things up.
K. Michael Vick passing gas after all-you-can-eat bean dip night, the only thing he can pass.
L. Al Gore using too much hair spray.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You should be a writer for David Letterman's top ten list - very funny!