Houtchens verses Vick- The Game!

You KNOW you have waited for this, and I am about to bring it to you in a 7 part series, chock full of tantalizing screenshots, play analysis, and excitement! It’s the showdown you have been waiting for! Glenn Houtchens vs. Michael Vick! The chunky, out of shape, bald middle school teacher verses the fastest quarterback in the NFL! I’m IN THE GAME, BABY! All of this is thanks to EA Sports and my own fertile imagination. So let’s get started….

I am going on the idea that after I played linebacker at Maryville College, I devoted myself completely to developing myself into a candidate for the NFL draft. I bulk myself up and pump weights until I look like the missing link. I do speed drills, stay after every practice with the coaches and get myself so psyched up that I am a walking advertisement for mental health institutions and testosterone… then comes the draft. In this case, I get drafted by [drum roll]… the Houston Texans. Normally, this would be (in my own opinion) a reason for immediate hari-kari. A shame that I did not get picked by the Atlanta Falcons, my preferred and hometown team, but, I thought, why not give it a try? My contract is only 2 years and by the time I am a free agent, I will have developed into a more seasoned, refined veteran, able to shop myself around for the team of my choosing.

A short note about the league in general- in this league I am going on the assumption that the rumored trade talks between the Falcons and the Raiders are true, and Vick will be traded to the Raiders for an unspecified draft pick, as well as some cap compensation (perhaps a renegotiation?) after June 1^st. Additionally, Roddy White was traded to the Houston Texans for a defensive back.

In the pictures above: 1. Shortly after the kickoff, there is a fumble. 21 players make a mad dash for the football. Unfortunately for all of us, the REFEREE is standing right on top of the ball and it is so crowded on each side he can’t move. It’s a shame the game will not allow us to clobber the zebra that gets in the way with a clothesline.

2. Vick learns that when he tries to gain yardage with me playing linebacker, that it’s hard to run without legs.

Houtchens vs. Vick pt.2

Vick manages to connect with the Raiders fullback, Zack Crockett, on a fade. He scampers down the sidelines for a score, outrunning all of the Houston defensive backs. (I was in a zone coverage, otherwise he never would have caught the ball.)

1. and 2. In their next series, I show my displeasure by attempting to unscrew the head of Justin Fargas from the rest of his body. The referees do not share my point of view, and they hit me with a 15 yard facemask penalty.

Houtchens vs. Vick pt.3

1. and 2. In this image, you can see that Vick has Jerry Porter wide open down the sidelines. There are a number of plays like this, with this being only one example. I am busy chasing some guy out of the zone as noted by the blue circle. The defensive back has deep coverage on the far right hand side. This setup worked perfectly for the Raiders. However, in the second picture you can see that Vick has thrown a wormburner to the wide open receiver (note the shadow). Further, Porter is not even turning around to look at the ball. Guess he knows ahead of time that it will not be catchable.

Houtchens vs. Vick pt.4

This is a great screenshot and it deserves its own space. David Carr, our quarterback, is much like Vick, sort of like Jekyll and Hyde: mostly poor play with sporadic moments of greatness. Houston has a great receiving tight end, a rookie by the name of Daniels. Great downfield speed and hands, but he blocks about as well as a tackling dummy. Here, Carr waits until the free safety has swiveled his hips to meet Roddy White on a deep downfield post route. Carr then splits the coverage perfectly, hitting Daniels on a go route in between all three defenders for a touchdown.

Houtchens vs. Vick pt.5

1. I found it easier to blitz Vick from his blind side than to approach from his field of view. Here I am abandoning my left flats coverage (note that Zack Crockett is wide open in the zone I am supposed to cover) on a delayed self-inspired blitz. To heck with the coaches… I want to own this 1000 yard, 120 million dollar pampered pigeon!

2. He still does not notice me as I make my acquaintances. Mr. Vick, please allow me to introduce you to my friend…. MR. TURF !!!!!!!!!!! You like grass right? Have all you want!

Houtchens vs. Vick pt.6

I was waiting for this the entire game. Late in the fourth quarter Vick tries to make a comeback for the Raiders. I hunker down and wait patiently for the inevitable crossing route to his favorite target, the tight end. I spring my trap and make the interception as shown here. Immediately afterwards, the entire offensive line of the Raiders turned into Renaldo Nehimiah as they chase me down the sidelines and prevent me from scoring. Our offense then goes 3 and out (no small wonder there) and kicks a field goal.

Houtchens vs. Vick pt.7

This is my favorite screenshot of the game. It’s the last drive of the ball game. Vick is scrambling around trying to get yardage and score. I am having none of it. Here I am stripping the ball and flashing a smile at the cameras at the same time. Beautiful. Why am I able to strip the ball? Hmmm. Oh yes, that’s right! After 6 years in the NFL, Vick still carries the ball WELL AWAY from his body! The offense takes over and runs out the clock, sealing the victory. I also get my personal revenge.

For many years, Vick was the greatest football player on the Atlanta Falcons… for the other team! As you can see from my pictorial, he is now doing the same for the Oakland Raiders, a team that truly deserves it.

I am glad Vick is able to make a hip hop fashion statement by keeping one chinstrap unbuckled when he plays. Perhaps he can make a different statement in his game performance one of these days… consistent competence! In the meantime, here is my caveat: should Vick ever lead the Falcons to a win in the Super Bowl, I will PERSONALLY erect a website with my apologies to him for the way I have treated him in my articles.

I am not holding my breath. Prove me wrong, Mr. Vick!

G.Houtchens
armchair coach
amateur historian

I Failed the Test

Early Friday morning, January 26, 2007. I had just finished editing the changes to the Biomes test that my students were (hopefully) prepared to take. Biomes are wide areas on the Earth with generally the same characteristics and the same types of organisms found throughout, the desert biome for example. I hop in the car, turn the key, and hear "reow reow reeeooowww reeeurrrr..." Oh no. The battery was dead.

I ran back into the house to call Mr. Merges, my assistant principal. "It's okay, Mr. Houtchens," he reassures me. "Can you get here? We can arrange to get a sub for a half day. Don't worry about it- we have you covered." I went over the details for the lesson plans, thankful that I had taken the time earlier to email the test to both myself and Mrs. Artessa, one of my colleagues at the school who co-teaches one of my classes.

I scramble outside. The dogs are going crazy barking at me. Is this a new game? Watch Daddy run around. Bark, bark, bark. I wonder whether the truck battery has enough juice to jump me off. The tools are inside. Scramble back. Get the tools. Run back outside and manhandle the battery out of the truck. Meanwhile the clock is ticking and I am getting more and more behind the eight ball. Jack Baur where are you?

Now I pause from the action here just a moment (in my column, not at the time) because it is in times of crisis that true character is revealed. Much like Frank Herbert's Bene Gesserit observe reactions to pain, this is true in a spiritual sense as well. When Job was tested by the devil, he lost his job, house, income and all his relatives, yet he continually praised God and did not sin. He blessed God even when his wife was telling him to curse God and die.

Did I thank God for this opportunity to show trust and faith in Him? Did I even take time out to pray silently for just a few moments? Nope. Instead I turned into Yosemite Sam. RASSER FRATTING FLING BITTEN TOOTIN SHOOTIN DORF FLIPPIN .... I used some bad words... I even took the Lord's name in vain, and now I can just imagine God in heaven looking down on me and thinking, "Glenn my child, don't you realize that I have you in my hands, that I am in control of this situation? Where is your faith?"

The battery from the truck did not work- it was completely dead. So I got out the old Sears battery charger which had not worked last time I used it. It had been sitting in the bed of my pickup truck in the rain and weather for the last year, now covered by leaves. I plugged it in and ran inside to plug the extension cord into the wall in the garage. Bark! Bark! Bark! Eight furry legs following after me and padded in front of me, running about in circles, excited about what was happening. How fun it was- Daddy's going bananas!!!!

I run back outside and low and behold, after gathering rust and grime in it's innards for over a year, the thing is working, and the battery is charging. Fifteen minutes later I am on my way to work. In hindsight I feel a bit like Peter, (and I realize this is partly just speculation on my part) who without thinking just reacted to the situation and denied Jesus as he was taken prisoner to be crucified.

Here is where the lesson can be found: When my students fail in one aspect or another, whether in failing to control themselves (they ARE 7th graders after all!) in their behavior, failing to make a good choice when tempted to cause trouble, failure to complete assignments or study for tests, failure in whatever difficulty they face (and we can all admit that just being in middle school is a difficult time), I can show mercy and compassion and forgiveness, even in the midst of handing out consequences, and I can encourage these young people to do good, and remind them that they themselves are special, unique, worthwhile and acceptable. In doing so, I show God's love.

Additionally, when my next crisis arises, perhaps I can stop for a moment and remember to thank God for all He has given me, and to look up with trust and faith.

There Was A Time

There was a time, many years ago, when this country was at war. This country was attacked, unprovoked, at Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941. Many sailors died on that early Sunday morning when the ships they were on sank due to Japanese torpedo bombers. The Americans of that generation volunteered to serve, even knowing that for many it would mean their deaths. When beloved sons, brothers and fathers died, they were mourned by placing a star in the living room window, so that all that passed the house would know of their families sacrifice. They all contributed, using war stamps to purchase rationed food, gasoline and supplies so that the men in uniform could have what they needed to complete their mission. Families planted victory gardens to grow thier own food. They participated in air raid warnings and used black window shades at night so our enemy could not bomb our cities. They worked in factories producing bombs, bullets, guns, tanks, jeeps, aircraft, ships and uniforms.

There was no complaining about how many soldiers were wounded, or killed. No daily death statistics about how many sacrificed themselves for their country. No criticism of our president at the time, Franklin Delanore Roosevelt (FDR) for dragging us into a european/asian war that, before Pearl Harbor, did not directly involve us. We were committed in a world wide war because we knew that if we failed, the next stop for Hitler would be the United States, and Nazi storm troopers and panzer tanks would be rolling down our streets, and the blood that would flow would be our own.

Viet Nam changed us as a nation, in the 1960's and early 1970's. This was a war in which the United States supported a corrupt regime, the South Vietnamese government, in its struggle to resist the communist North Vietnamese government from uniting the nation under one rule. Young men were being drafted to fight and die in a country far from our own, where our freedom and security was not at risk. Many Americans openly questioned and protested the wisdom of this. The president at the time was Nixon. He was a corrupt leader, and our country was severely divided among those who supported this foreign war and those who denounced it, much as our country is today.

Bush should be questioned for his decision to take us into Iraq. He should be held accountable for starting an unprovoked war in Iraq, and not foreseeing the consequences, an uncontrolled civil war with two factions bent on destroying one another in the quest for power. The invasion of Afghanistan by the United Nations is understandable; they were shielding Osama Bin Laden, who was responsible for 9/11.

Our leaders must be cautious about using the word "war." It means a total and complete resolved commitment on the part of every person in this country for victory. When the purpose of war itself is called into question, we have defeated ourselves already, because the call for war should be righteous, unquestionable, and absolutely necessary to preserve our way of life.

The question we face now is, "What do we do now that we are involved in a war in Iraq?" Some say we should cut our losses and withdraw, admitting that we were wrong in the first place. Others say that this war is part of a larger, global scenario, and that we must insure victory in Iraq to keep Islamic extremists from coming to America.

It seems like a scenario without answer. History will be the judge. Attacking our president for his call to war in Iraq does not change our situation, even though it seems to this writer to be deserved. Hindsight is 20/20. We have not sacrificed as our forefathers have. We are not on rations, with limited amounts of gasoline and food. Our men have not died in the numbers they did in WWII. Bush calls for victory as the only option. Our government, however, is as divided as we are, for if we were truly commited to victory, every soldier would be pulled from Korea, Japan, Germany, and other parts of the world and redeployed to Iraq, and the draft would have been reinstated. We are commited instead to hesitancy and uncertaincy, and our plush standards of living, without sacrifice.

There is one thing that many of us have completely ignored. Prayer, on a daily basis.

G.Houtchens
armchair coach
amateur historian

Massive Winter Storm Cripples Country

Winter storm causes over 100,000 to go without electricity. Over a billion dollars lost to California's citrus crop. Swartzeneggar asks feds for disaster relief help. Oh, the humanity!

Sung to the tune of "Tonight," from West Side Story:

Tonight, tonight, won't be just any night,
Tonight there will be snow and freezing raaaain,
Tonight, tonight, won't be just any night,
And I won't have to deal with kids that are a PAAAAAIN!!!!

Unless you live in Cherokee County, Georgia. Thats because the storm fizzled out just before it got here. Please choose your reason for this occuring from the following list:

A. Students not praying hard enough.
B. Teachers not praying hard enough.
C. Divine judgement on teachers and students alike.
D. Superintendent in league with the devil.
E. Global warming over Cherokee County (it's George Bush's fault).
F. UFO's cause warming trend due to this teacher's attempt to oust them.
G. Scientology mind control moving north of Clearwater, Florida.
H. Chiropracters leave "muscle warming" units on at Life College to bill customers extra.
I. Neal Boortz talking too much, causes hot air mass over the region.
J. Jack Baur visiting Atlanta, terrorists follow blowing things up.
K. Michael Vick passing gas after all-you-can-eat bean dip night, the only thing he can pass.
L. Al Gore using too much hair spray.

God in the Box

There is an unspoken mindset that goes along with the relatively new (historically speaking) surge of political correctness that has been seen in the last 20 years. The thinking goes this way: “You are not allowed to impose God on me as this goes against the constitutional separation of church and state. My right to not be reminded of God supersedes the right of the community to express Christianity and Judaism publicly,” (as has been done in this country for the last 200+ years).

I am talking about organizations, such as the ACLU, whose stated goal is to insure individual rights, but whose actual goal is to remove any public mention of religion, such as removing the ten commandments from court buildings, silencing prayer for the protection of athletes before high school football games, and attempting to remove the words “under God” from the pledge of allegiance.

In some schools (particularly in the northeastern United States), displays of the Islamic religion are openly accepted in the name of diversity and tolerance. If one attempts to put Christmas displays up however, they are vetoed with the argument, “we don’t want to offend anyone.” Whom exactly do they think they are offending in such actions? The unspoken line is, it is acceptable to offend Christians but not anyone else, as Christianity is offensive to atheists. Why is this?

When God is removed from our world view, we are no longer held accountable for our actions. As long as God stays in His “little box” and does not interfere in my life, that is acceptable. That’s basically what it boils down to. Philosophical arrogance. God must stay in His box so that I am not offended, so that I am not reminded that I am in fact accountable for my life. So that my life, my island, remains tinted by the rose colored glasses of acceptability to myself. It remains devoid of any spiritual aspect of life, which is a natural part of the disposition of man.

Let’s take the ACLU route to its logical conclusion. There would be no chaplains for any faiths in the military; that program is supported by government funds. All churches, synagogues and mosques would lose their tax exempt status. No public expression of faith whatsoever. No Christmas lights on houses, no Christmas holidays, no mention of God on our currency. All religious broadcasts, radio and otherwise, would be shut down. They might offend someone. The president would not be allowed to swear himself into office on the bible (or any “holy book” now that we have our first Islamic congressman). Does this oath not lose some of its importance if not symbolically taken before God? No crosses on steeples, no street ministries, no mention of any person of religious faith on the news, such as Billy Graham.

It sounds to me like a nightmarish twist of Dickens “A Christmas Carol,” and the old Soviet Union, with atheism repressing any form of religion other than worship of the state. We fought a cold war over this very thing. Now though, we have become our own enemies.

Here is the deal. We are the ones who are inside the box. The box is our world, our brief existence here. Our views are tainted by what we can see, what our senses perceive, the experiences that we have had in our lives. We cannot accurately observe the spiritual world that is around us, present but indiscernible, existing but imperceptible, except for brief glimpses that nearly all can attest to. Nonetheless, God is present in our lives; watching... waiting... with love that is beyond our comprehension. Now, we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face. I am so very thankful that I am not an island.

Thanks to brutallyhonest.org for the image.

Hoofprints in the Dust

PLEASE READ THE GREAT TRAIN ROBBERY BELOW BEFORE READING THIS POST

The story is allegorical and serves a point. The government workers represent the scientific community. The passengers on the train represent people from all walks of society, in different countries spread out among all continents. The oriental strangers represent UFO's, and those who occupy them.

The evidence is plentiful and corroborative. First there is the matter of eyewitnesses. Eyewitness testimony is acceptable as evidence and proof in a court of law. In England, witnesses are forbidden from speaking with barristers, or lawyers, to prevent them from being coached on their testimony. How many people have reported UFO sightings? Let's rule out 95% of all eyewitness testimony out of hand [even though they represent a wide cross sampling of the population] and say that these people were mad, projected their beliefs on explainable events, or were imagining things. What about the other reports? The ones that state these vehicles (and I realize that I use this term in a leading manner) wobble and spin as they move, seemingly without sound. That they accelerate at astounding speeds and demonstrate changes in direction that are well beyond any man made machine? Meteors? Swamp gas? Plasma from underground rock compression? What of objects in orbit recorded by the space shuttle that have changed direction with no outside force acting upon them? Of course, if the scientific community were to acknowledge this phenomenon, they would have to admit they were wrong. Frankly, (and this is opinion) I think they are way too proud, too puffed up, too full of themselves to do so. After all, THEY have all the answers, right? Want to use the scientific method? Cross index the number of UFO reports, the characteristics of the object that were observed, and then plug that into some statistical analysis to try to calculate the chance that all these people came up with many of the same stories out of thin air. I don't think so.

Secondly is the matter of physical evidence, or hoofprints from my analogy. The above photo is taken from the Westall School incident, where on April 6th, 1966, numerous schoolchildren and teachers observed a UFO land near their school, one example of my "hoofprints in the dust." The scorched marks on the ground clearly indicates something happened. One would think this testimony might be taken seriously. Nope. Just like the government officials in my story, it is discounted.

Here I will give a caveat which is that there are a large number of hoaxes which have been perpetrated by those who seekto draw attention to themselves. Billy Meier in particular irks me to no end because he was plainly using plastic models suspended by lines. People like Dan Akroyd want to be taken seriously regarding their stand on UFO's but when they release videos, they contain footage from- you guessed it- Billy Meier. That's annoying as hell.

However, if we remove all photographic evidence completely, save for pictures which are taken from space, how is this explained? These pictures clearly cannot be hoaxed. Data from satellites producing evidence which appears to back up the claims of those with corroborated testimony, and which also backs up the pictorial and physical evidence as mentioned earlier.

Thirdly is the proliferation of home video cameras which have captured these craft in operation. Admittedly, along with the widespread availability and affordability of video cameras is the use of computer technology to manipulate images. Are all random witnesses with video cameras hoaxers? 100 percent?

Consequently, there needs to be a more thorough examination of this phenomenon by the scientific community. No poo-pooing by way of pride and ego that such a thing could not possibly exist. The ramifications are too large to overlook. Truth must be known!

The Great Train Robbery

Imagine it's 1840. The civil war has not yet begun and railroads are becoming the dominant way of transporting mass quantities of goods across the country. Let's say for the sake of argument that the railroad expanded early into the southwest and they want a more direct southern link between Santa Fe, New Mexico and Los Angeles, California. Bear with me, you will see my intentions in a moment.

Soon after opening the railroad line for passengers and supplies to get quickly to the southern west coast, a most unusual occurrance happens. In the middle of nowhere, in the heat of the desert, while slowly traveling up an incline enroute to Los Angeles, masked horsemen with slanted eyes, ponytails and butterfly swords gallop up to the engine. They disembark and take the boilerman, Andrew Smith, and engineer, James O'Callaghan, hostage. One of the strangers cuts the engine off, causing the train to slow. Another one demands the presence of the train's most precious cargo, the young women who happen to be onboard. The crewmen follow the orders of the strangers, and select, blindfold, and separate three women from the rest of the passengers.

Time passes. One hour. Two hours. Three hours. Upon returning, the women explain that they were taken from the train and were observed, poked, measured and prodded, from what they could observe under their blindfolds. The odd hijackers have disappeared in the meantime, taking off on their horses while the passengers attended to the women.

For the duration of their journey, the passengers are abuzz about this mysterious hijacking. Who were the strangers? What did they want? What was the purpose of taking the women? Some passengers saw the horses. A few saw these masked strangers themselves. Most saw nothing. All of them knew the train was stopped and they were given orders by the crew to collect themselves in the rear cars.

Upon their arrival in Los Angeles, the crew reports to the mayor to discuss their ordeal. After hearing the story, the mayor laughs and says "That's totally ridiculous! Chinamen do not live in the desert of the American southwest! In Indian country no less! Hahaha! Try your joke on someone else." No matter what the arguments, he refuses to believe the story.

The crew then goes to the US Marshal's office. Surely he would be interested in this crime. He also, however, refuses to believe the story. Andrew and James offer to take the marshal to see the horsetracks next to the rails where the incident occured. "Those tracks could have been placed there by anybody, and it's no proof that your hijacking occured," says the marshal. "More likely, you are just trying to avoid responsibility for being late, and some of the passengers who are probably your relatives are going along with this tomfoolery!"

O'Callaghan and Smith are justifiably miffed, but there is really nothing further they can do, short of taking a dangerous trip out into the desert to search 100,000 square miles in hopes of finding their assailants. They then decided to dismiss it and to ask for transfers to more easterly routes, even though it would mean a cut in pay.

Several months pass. Then the bandits strike again, with the same modus operandi and the same results. More train passengers see the evidence of what is occuring, and step forward to testify of what had occured. They also get the same result. No matter the number of witnesses, no matter any shred of evidence whatsoever, the government officials simply will not admit they are wrong and do something about it.

What does this story mean? Read on to find out.

Military Intelligence

BEEP! BEEP! Oops, too late. Sorry, Captain, I wasn't looking.

A Fast Attack sub, the USS Newport News, had a fender bender in the Straits of Hormuz yesterday with a Japanese supertanker carrying oil. Fortunately, the crash appears not to have been at a 90 degree angle, and both ships are evaluating damage. No oil escaped from the supertanker.

In July 2004, an aircraft carrier, the USS John F. Kennedy, collided with a small arab fishing boat leaving no survivors on the smaller vessel. One would question allowing a small vessel to even approach the floating city, given the recent attack on the USS Cole, which killed a number of sailors when the terrorists blew themselves up and also blew a hole in the side of the naval vessel. Imagine a breach in the bow of an aircraft carrier. They would not be able to launch jet aircraft as the bow would be listing downwards towards the waterline. Additionally, aircraft carriers must build up speed into the wind when launching aircraft. This would flood the forward compartments of the aircraft carrier even more.

Additionally, in February of 2001, a submarine collided with a Japanese fishing vessel off the coast of Hawaii. Officers on board the submarine were demonstrating "breaching" to visiting VIP's by having the submarine rise spectacularly out of the water at full speed. Unfortunately for them, the fishing boat was "in the way."

I understand that these vessels take a long time to turn and a long time to speed up or slow down. One would think that the ocean has enough space [three-quarters of the planet!] to avoid collisions with other traveling craft. Were I an admiral, I might change general orders to look something like this:

General order #1: Avoid ramming your vessel into other craft. Steer around them.
General order #2: Avoid ramming your vessel into immovable objects, such as land.
General order #3: If after avoiding another vessel, they continue to persue a collision course, act under the assumption that it is filled with explosives and take measures to insure the safety of your vessel.
General order #4: See General order #1.

The Truth Must Be Known !

I am on a rampage. I'm hoppin' mad. Never in recent memory have I reacted so strongly and emotionally to a movie, my family will attest to that. Usually by the end I am rooting for the bad guys because my suspension of disbelief usually takes a bit more than insipid action adventure flicks have to offer. This movie, however, is based on reality. It's a full length movie and it can be viewed for free over the internet. At the end I was yelling at the monitor "RUN!!!! RUN!!!!"

Believe it or not it was shot by an 18 year old on a shoestring budget. It lacks any form of musical direction, although at times what music there is can be disingenuously effective. The movie is about an organization that separates families when any member objects to its teachings. It is about mind control and suppression of the will. It is about Scientology. It is called "The Bridge." Anyone with a high speed internet connection should search for and see this movie.

The church of Scientology has since applied legal pressures to the director/producer, Brett Hanover, to cease and desist with any promotion of his film. Because he does not want to be bankrupted, he complied. However, due to the fair use doctrine of the internet, copies of this picture may be made and posted so long as no one profits from it. I found a workable copy of "The Bridge," [NOTE: Since the article was postedharmful viruses have been attached to the site!] but Scientology is trying to shut these sites down, so I don't know how long this link will remain viable.

I have so much more to say about Scientology from a philosophical point of view that I must save it for another post. But I will say this: Oprah Winfrey, by hosting Tom Cruise on her show, is guilty of portraying Scientology as being acceptable to millions. Oprah is known for her philanthropy, as well as her self promotion as a philanthropist. How many dollars does it take to patch up the wound from a son or daughter, a brother or sister who has "disconnected" themselves from their families due to Scientology Oprah? How many dollars to restore the time of life lost to those disillusioned by their teachings? How many dollars to reveal the truth about this deception, the love that is cut by scissors which no hand can touch?

No Mora Soup for YOU!

Yesterday, after losing to the Eagles 3rd string team (after the Eagles were assured of being in the playoffs with the loss of Dallas to the Lions), the Atlanta Falcons fired head coach Jim Mora. In his press conference, Mora padded his own stats and talked about everything he had done right with the Falcons, and very little he had done wrong (which sounds like a certain quarterback I know of.)

Mora was outcoached many of his games here. His lack of ability to gameplan for success during halftime was only the icing on the cake for the three year coach. He was also highly critisized by Falcons ownership for his interview with a west coast radio station. In it, he stated he would jump at the chance to coach at the University of Washington. He said if the UW job was offered to him, he would leave immediately, even if his current team, the Falcons, were in the midst of a playoff run. Such lack of judgement in publicly airing his lack of dedication to the team is unforgivable. It also made Authur Blank look like a fool for hiring him.

Last year Mora was on a cell phone in the middle of a game talking about the playoff ramifications should the game be tied (he had to make a decision to go for 1 or 2 points after a touchdown late in the game). Head coaches should have their attention on the game, not talking on a cell phone.

Mora was also critisized for being too "buddy-buddy" with some players. Such relationships can lend one to think that it may have played a role in who started and who played, rather than which players gave the team the best chance to win.

Mora worked very hard as a head coach for the Falcons, nonetheless, it's hard to understand how he can allow such unprofessionalism to derail the effort he put into it. So long, Coach Mora, and don't let the door hit you on the way out !