1. Counter intelligence on a large scale is one thought. Infiltrate the terrorist groups and compromise them. During the 80’s and 90’s though, these resources were not renewed and allowed to dwindle to scant numbers. We don’t have the numbers now to do this sort of thing.
2. Dogs, dogs and more dogs. On every street corner, and in every unit. Trained to find explosives. They cannot use what they don’t have. Perhaps they could use trained pigs, as suicide bombers would be less willing to be covered in raw, steaming pork in their final second of earthly existence.
3. Mass manufacture the phalanx defense system from the Aegis naval cruiser class and place one every 100 feet along the Iran/Iraq border. Irradiate the processor chips until these self automated machines get minds of their own. Then stand back and watch the fun.
4. Rosie O’Donnell on drive-in-movie-size TV’s, in the center of each town, blaring loudly 24/7. This will make them run for their lives.
5. Send in the annoyingly smarmy Jack Bauer. His contract does not end for 2 more years, so there is no way he could die. Have him root out all terrorists single handed, crying over each one as a waste of human life.
6. Give the terrorists nuclear reactors like Bill Clinton did in the 90’s with
7. Arrest every Mexican that crosses the border illegally and enlist them in the United States Army. Send them to
8. Reincarnate Saddam Hussein as a zombie ghoul with help from friendly Voodoo practitioners from
9. Have Jeb Bush covert to Islam. He will travel to
10. Tell President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran that the prince of Saudi Arabia, Sultan bin Abdul Aziz al-Saud, says his moustache looks like that of Prince, the musical artist. Ahmadinejad will take offense, and mad war will break out in the